I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
