He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
