Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
