I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
