Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
