I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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