Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize