I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
