Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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