Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
