Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
