I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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