Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
