i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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