guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
