I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
