but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
