is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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