somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
