i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
