In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
