After last night, I could never be a politician.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
