the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
