i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
whose ass print is on the piano?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
