She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
PANTIES FOUND
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