I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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