he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
