we're blogging at a bar
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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