There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
