His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
