I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
