Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
