Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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