you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize