we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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