meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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