those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
