just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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