i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
