if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
