when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we're so committed to being not committed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
