what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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