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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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