Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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