R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
