i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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