i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
