I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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