Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
