6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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