I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
