He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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