two words: eviction party
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
