he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just had sex on a roof
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
