conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize