She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
