So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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