Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
